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Our Triplets’ Turned 9 | Their Birthday(s) Celebrations

September 26, 2011 By Laura 7 Comments

Yes, our triplets’ turned 9! So hard to believe.

triplets-birthday-6

 This birthday post is a bit late just about every year.  But considering the triplet’s birthday is the last day of August, and then we hit a new busy school year, a belated post is like a tradition with valid excuse, in my mind. I don’t think anyone is really waiting for it anyway.   It’s not a report as much as a record of our celebrations for ourselves, and anyone interested.I hope to scrapbook it all someday too.

Sp here are tons of photos from over the course of a couple of days, and a little story-telling here and there too, if you’d like to hear all about it.

We go to the fair every year, but this year we made it part of their birthday celebrating.  The first thing we did when we got there was go see the arts crafts in the Agricultural Hall. It’s more of a judged show, of quilts, kid’s artwork, etc. And then we got Fried Dough!  We could hardly wait for that. So we didn’t.  ; )  (Well, Alexis waited to get hers right before we left later that night.)

triplets-birthday-1 Tobar the Robot is always around, and it’s hilarious to see him scare the dickens out of fair-goers, when he suddenly moves.  We sat and watched that for awhile, and laughed out loud with food in our mouths. (That would be the Friend Dough.)  The Trio always love going down Super-Slides, every chance they get. I think I’d feel the burn, climbing those stairs over and over.

triplets-birthday-3 Feeding the animals is always a must with them too.  I thought the little nursing goat was the sweetest little thing. I have no idea what plant that tee-pee is, but I have a feeling puts off big blooms at some point? Any guesses or knowledge? You can go inside too. There’ a sitting bench in there.

 

triplets-birthday-5 They still love the Carousel, and always ask to find that. Then they go several times on some of the smaller rides.

 

triplets-birthday-8 The guy running this game was a HOOT! But anyway….Oh my word…..do not let this girl near Foxwoods Casinos! lol.  {A} saw this game, where you can win cash, and it was all she played! She was darn near-tormented by the thing, and was having a hard time walking away. She was playing the window in the top left there, so you can see how much money was right on the ledge there! She was smart with her money, only putting back in what quarters she won, but she was going for those bills, and this guy knew how to joke with you and keep you playing.  He was funny! Look at how he was talking on his cell phone, so he didn’t have to hold it. Anyway, I would have discouraged {A}, as it did feel a bit like gambling, except that I knew she’d do well by any money she won.  Probably something charitable, and then put the rest towards her campaigning funds, or something. ; )

Like most fairs, there was food everywhere!  Oh the aromas in the air!  So many choices one doesn’t get very often, that Michael and I found it hard to decide what we wanted, come dinner time.  But our kids knew just what they wanted, and I could not even believe it!  SALAD! I was like….“Really?  At the fair, you want salad for dinner?” Yes, really, they did.  Alrighty then. We finally found the place they had seen earlier.  HUGE salads, and the scoffed every bit up.  I was so torn over what to have myself, that I ended up just having a a few bites of their salads. It WAS very good. I think it’ll be on my mind next year. lol

triplets-birthday-10 They had a really great time, and it was dark before we finally left.

triplets-birthday This is their special birthday breakfast, that I made, and already shared in the Vittles section.  A little twist on our traditional birthday number pancakes. and the whole fam loved it! Fried French Toast, made as healthily as I could manage. (This shot is pre- butter, confectionery sugar and syrup, of course.)

triplets-birthday-2

triplets-birthday-4 We gave each of them 9 surprise gems for their Gem Jars on their birthday morning.  They were thrilled about that!

triplets-birthday-7 Packages always start arriving the week leading to their birthday, and this one from their Aunt in Arizona, sat on the floor in the sun room in front of the wood stove, waiting….and it intrigued them to no end.  They went over to it every day, wondering if maybe there was a Scorpion in there!  And guess what?  There kind of was! lol.  They each got a bunch of Arizona souvenirs and such, and one of the things was a scorpion encased in acrylic, like a paper-weight.  They loved it all.


 

triplets-birthday-9 They get just as much of a kick, out of their birthday cards.

triplets-birthday-11 Arizona stuff from their Aunt.  The scorpion is in the red thing.

triplets-birthday-12  Also a big package from Grandma.

triplets-birthday-13 Big sister had a gift for each of them, and they also all had one for each other.

All of the photos are not in this blog post.  That would have been ridiculous. But suffice it to say they were very grateful for everyone’s thoughtfulness.  They treasure everything they get, always.

Of course, we had a gift for them too…..


triplets-birthday-15 Wii.

I think they were shocked!  I am not a fan at all, of video-games for my kids, personally. This may explain why they are likely the last ones on earth, to get Wii!  And believe it or not, it was my idea.  They are older now though, and it comes with serious rules and strict time limits, which they are all totally fine with.  It’s not an every day thing, but more once a week.  They have never even asked for Wii, or anything like it, even after they played some a time or two at others home, and had a good time.  It’s just not the kind of thing we ever do much.   But, with the rules and limits we have in place, it’ll be a fun thing when it’s still raining after a week, or the bitter-temp days that come all in a row, come winters, to get some energy out – because it is pretty physical.  They only got the sports related games. Believe you me…..this is not connected to the internet (hell to the no…), and there are certain games/sports that are off limits.

Call me a poor sport. Mama don’t care. ; )

 

triplets-birthday-16 Normally we don’t invest in such high-ticket items–especially for birthdays or holidays. But, Alexis did get that camera for her 13th.  And this gift is split 3 ways. Of course the whole family can use it.

Also, Grandma generously pitched in and helped pay for it. <3

 

triplets-birthday-17 Creating their Mii’s alone, had them laughing hysterically trying the different features. I think they came out really quite resembling them!!

Their cake request……


triplets-birthday-18 It was a unanimous decision, and they wanted one cake:  White cake with chocolate chips, white frosting and coconut flakes.     We were thankful not to be up baking 3 different requests all night. We’ve done that when they have 3 different requests, without complaint. We feel they deserve the kind of cake they each want, like any birthday kid, and shouldn’t have to compromise. But sometimes we luck out.  Buying store bought cake is not an option, with {S}’s peanut allergy. Home made is always better anyway.

triplets-birthday-19  (May all of your wishes come true.)

Here’s a really fun thing we also did:  On the night of their birthday, some family friends of ours were gathering down on the waterfont, for Plymouth Idol, because…..their son was competing!  We were invited, and we wanted to be there to cheer him on.  (You all know I can make some noise! As can our kids. lol)

 

triplets-birthday-20 His name is Mark.  I think 100’s auditioned prior to the event, and he made it into the top 10, which was the public Plymouth Idol we went to watch.

Don’t mind his scrubs, but he barely got to the competition in time!  He’s a nurse, and came from work.  The judge panel was kind enough to wait for him, and he got there just in time to go on stage 10th!

Mark has an amazing voice!!  Not only is his singing beautiful, but it is filled with such emotion.   He’s the kind of performer that when you watch and listen, you get so sucked in, you forget where you are.

Here’s how the competition went: There were 10 contestants who sang, the judging panel cut it down to 5, those 5 sang a song, they cut it down to 3, and then those 3 sang again.  The judges commentated after each performance, just like American Idol.  Mark had a little tough competition.  There was a young opera singer who was certainly gifted. But Mark was the best, and non of us felt were biased. lol.  He had 3 songs picked to sing, should he make it through each round:  1 from Les Miserables, and 2 by Josh Grobin.

And HE WON!!!  We were all so excited!!

triplets-birthday-21 The Trio had a really good time, because their little friends were there too.  I did not seek permission to share their photos on the internet, so I just blurred their identity. But they were so cute all together, having a ball. They were upfront and cheered Mark on like crazy. Despite how it appears in this photo, there was a big crowd there for this event.  It was a beautiful night too, right on the waterfront, with the ocean breeze.  We were really happy for Mark and his family.  What a great evening.

To end our day of celebrating, we went out to dinner to somewhere the kids have always wanted to go:

triplets-birthday The food was great, as was the company. I have another story from there that was pretty amusing, but it could get lengthy, and this post is probably long enough. (You think? ; )  You can ask me for it separately if you’d like. But anyway, the servers were really good to the kids.

triplets-birthday-14 What I really love about their birthday every year, is how they really celebrate having each other. They’ve said many times, in different ways in various conversations, that they are so happy they were born together, and get to celebrate their birthdays together.  I’ve asked them, “Don’t you think it would be nice to have a birthday all of your own, too?”, and they said “No!”.  lol.  They’ve never known anything different, so they probably cannot imagine it.

One thing is for sure; While we did feel like we hit the Baby Jackpot (once we got through all of the fears and worries), we are so thankful, that they came along, regardless.  Whether together, or one at a time, each one of them is a blessing all their own to us, and it’s a beautiful life, to watch them grow up(Alexis Grace. too!), and become who God uniquely made them to be. I do wish it would slow down a bit.

Dear God, thank you, for entrusting them to us.

And to JackMichael, Olivia Faith and Shane Jacob:

Happy Birthday to You, and You, and You!

XOXOXO

* * * * * *




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Filed Under: Celebrations, Faith, Faith/ Catholic, The Big Picture, Traditions Tagged With: 9-year-old-triplets, Catholic-blog, Catholic-families, triplets, triplets-9th-birthday

Our Daughter’s Handmade Rosary

August 15, 2011 By Laura 7 Comments

We just wanted to share with you this beautiful rosary our daughter {A} > Alexis Grace made. She is 14.


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She made it as a gift for her friend, Fr. Bob Reed.  The Rosary center is a metal of St. Therese of Lisieux, who is Fr. Reed’s favorite saint, also known as ‘St. Therese – The Little Flower’, thus the roses for the Our Father Beads.  Yellow roses, as many of us know, are symbolic of friendship. But yellow is also one of Fr. Reed’s favorite colors, as well as blue, in the Swarovski crystals, which serve as the Hail Mary prayer beads. So suffice it to say, being a Catholic priest, who loves saying the Rosary, Fr. Reed was very happy to receive this gift from {A}, that consisted of so many of his favorite things.

From a creative standpoint, I am sure many of you can also appreciate the tedious work that went into this project, as well. {A} selected all of the beads, and special pieces of the Rosary in an eclectic manner, through Etsy searches as well as the craft stores, until she had all she needed to begin her project. Then using eye pins and crimping pliers, she created the Rosary.  We were really impressed with her handiwork, and are grateful for her giving heart as well.

Thanks for coming to see.

Update: Fr. Reed was very touched by the gift.  He frequently leads praying the daily rosary on CatholicTV, and {A} has noticed a time or 2 that he was using her rosary she made him.  He likely has many, many sets, and many as special gifts, too. He continues to be such a powerful witness of faith in countless ways to our children, and us as well, through his life and vocation, and his beautiful and authentic commitment to the power of daily prayer to our Lord, and Blessed Mother Mary. We are grateful to God for his friendship and example, all of which has blessed our lives.

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Filed Under: Crafts & Creations, Faith, Faith/ Catholic, Homemade/Handmade Gift Ideas, Kids Arts and Crafts, The Big Picture Tagged With: Catholic-blogs, Catholic-families, CatholicTV, handmade-rosary, rosaries, St-Therese-of-Lisieux, St-Therese-The-Little-Flower

✔’s, Gems, and X’s / Our System for Our Kid’s Responsibilities & Behavior

June 29, 2011 By Laura 9 Comments

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-4

∆ Fair Warning: This is like a 10 minute read.
If you’ve got the time, I’ve got the verbage.
So grab a drink, sit back, & relax.

The Prelude

There are days when I feel like I have 50 things to get done that day. I always have lists going, of my agendas. I’m writing tasks down as I think of them, while trying to take care of others and check them off. Between running a family (I am the thinker & planner, as I suppose most mothers are), homeschooling the kids, running my photography business, and running the blog, my head spins sometimes.  Paid or not, every agenda is all ‘work to do’ in my head, albeit work that I enjoy, as overwhelmed as I can get on some days.

But there is no job on any given day, that is more important to me, or that I am more passionate about in my heart, than helping lead and encourage my children into being the best grown people they can be.   It’s #1, always. It comes before everything else in my book, including them learning any academics.  By a long shot.  The formation of their character, to me, is the most critical aspect of my job as a parent.

In the end, I think we all have the same goals for our children, no matter where the source of our inspiration to ‘get this parenting thing right’ comes from.  Right? If we live consciously, we will do our best most days, and still make mistakes along the way! But it’s in trying to do our best, and loving our children so much that we want to give them our best, that drives us.  Even if we all have different ways of what that means, or how to do it on a day to day basis.

From my own personal viewpoint:  the foundation of character begins with God, and what He expects of me as a parent, raising these children He has blessed us with.  One of those things, is to try and teach my children, what He expects of us all, as people. And how to use His teachings to guide us all.  It’s one I take extremely seriously, and one I never stop thinking about. I’m not perfect at it by any means, but I never give up. My mind never stops….“What is working? What isn’t? What needs to change? How can they best learn from this situation today?  What is the message they may be getting? Are they on the right path, for their age?” And the questions keep coming.  They have since the day I became a mother.  I’m sure so many of you are familiar with this internal interrogation.

Two years ago this month,  in June 2009, I happened to blog about “A 6 Star Date” that I went on with my son.  Some of you who have been following us for years, may remember it.  Others may want to read that old post later, here.   Generally, it was a system I had made up and was using at the time, to encourage and address our kid’s behavior choices.  We used it for the longest time, and still do for the most part.   The concept of the system, and the general basics, have remained the same.  If anything, it has expanded to cover more area, especially as the kids are older now. It has been pretty effective for our kids, and our family as a whole.   I’ve been meaning to share it on the blog here for some time, with the thought that any of you may want to try implementing something similar, or any part of it, tweaking it in ways you see fit, to work for your family.

 *As a reference point, as of the writing of this post:
It is the year 2011. For anyone not very familiar with our family, we have 4 children. They all have a birthday coming right up. Our oldest daughter Alexis, a.k.a {A} will be 14 years old, and then we have triplets who will be 9 years old at the end of August. They are in birth order, son-daughter-son;  JackMichael a.k.a {JM or J}, Olivia a.k.a. {O}, and Shane a.k.a. {S}.

Please understand that this post & system I am sharing, ultimately was fostered by our own personal opinions, convictions,  and style of parenting. We are a practicing Roman Catholic family, but it is completely tweakable for your own beliefs, I am sure. The post as a whole may not be 100% agreeable with everyone, but is offered to those interested in using it possibly as a practice of their own, in part or whole, or as a spring board for their own ideas.  It reflects our faith, and our convictions.  Please respect it’s entirety as such, and take from it what works for you, as you please.


The Responsibility and Behavior System:

(This system was not actually created all at once.  It was simply 3 separate things I had been doing to guide my children, when one day, I realize how collectively, it was a pretty good overall system. )

1) The Check Chart

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting

I want to give them skills to learn how to be responsible for themselves.

We use this responsibilities chart we made up, using vinyl cut letters & lines.  It lists our youngest one’s own personal responsibilities for each day of the week.  They check things off as they do them, every day.  This chart is in the kitchen, right beside the doorway between kitchen and the main living area, where we all pass through 100 times a day. It’s down low, right where the littles can’t miss it walking by. (It’s near the food.   ; )   By referring to the chart, there is no excuse for ‘forgetting’, and I can see at a glance, who has gotten what done. In the big picture, it saves me from talking as much, and asking each & every one of them “Did you brush your teeth yet””…”Did you wash your hands before dinner?”….”Did you…..”(this or that), driving myself and everyone else crazy.


child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-1

These responsibilities basically consist of the things they are expected to do, to care for themselves, and their own belongings. This includes any messes of their own they make in any room of the house, out in the yard, or anywhere else.  Cleaning up after ourselves is an expectation of person responsibility and a family rule. But it is also a responsibility in and of itself, to keep their chart’s check marks updated, which works out nicely.  What if someone is repeatedly neglecting their responsibility chart? We’ll get to that shortly.

I should note that, as of yet, we don’t personally ‘assign regular chores’ to the kids. That may change in time, depending. Although we don’t have a negative opinion in any way, of those families who do assign chores. Right now, we are teaching them that it takes everyone to be a team, and loving family member to work well as a unit.  Because we love each other, and wish to live in harmony & happiness. With that said, they ultimately help out a lot around here without asking them to, much, through this system, as you’ll soon realize.

 

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-2
As you probably noticed, they also each have their own kid-color-coded marker, so we know whose checks are whose.  Our oldest is old enough not to need to be reminded of these responsibilities, which gives me great hope.


2) The Gems

 

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-3 I want them to feel appreciated, for their efforts, in being the best person God created them to be.

On top of our microwave in our kitchen, are 4 glass globe jars.   They are also kid-color-coded.  They are marked with each kid’s initial, have a pretty ribbon to match, and hold gems for their random efforts that we have appreciated, in our family.   To be clear, this is not a reward system.  I am not personally crazy about reward systems for the simple fact that, children, and all of us in general, should be expected to choose right, between right and wrong.  To choose to help others when we can. It’s what God expects of us, what shares and spreads love from within ourselves, to others, and what falls in line with our morals we are to live by.  In my opinion, choosing right, should not be bribed for, or lured with, rewards. Because then the incentive is not genuine, but ultimately selfish.  Often times, good things (I like to call natural consequences) happen to come of choosing right, anyway. But we should be expected to choose right, without needing to be rewarded for it, or looking to be.

 

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-5 With that said, gems may (or may not…) be given to any of the kids, when they are caught choosing right. It may be for doing a cleaning chore in the house that they saw needed to be done, such as sweeping the floor, straightening all of the shoes in the sun room, or picking up a mess someone else left after getting creative, before Mama found it. ; )  It may be because I overheard them put another before themselves, whether it be offering for someone else go first, or offering to share something. It may be for saying something kind to someone, doing a random act of kindness, or acting compassionately towards another.  These things apply whether we are at home together as a family, on a field trip, out on an outing with friends, or anywhere, with anyone, at all. Maybe they were the first to jump up when we called out through the house, “Dinner is ready! Can someone set the table please?” Being helpful, or loving, or thoughtful, or simply choosing right, when choosing wrong would have seemed easier in the immediate moment.  All of these things may get them a gem, which in all honesty, they do not (and cannot) expect. They know that is certainly true by now.

Because the rules have always been:

They cannot ever ask for a gem.

They cannot mention or remind me of gems, in relation to an action they took in any way.

They cannot even point out something they did, to be sure I know it. ; )

I in turn, do not always give them a gem, when I notice something. There are many, many times I don’t.  Simply because…..we all do and will do good, and choose right in life, and no one will appreciate it. It happens!  We can feel good in our hearts, knowing we pleased God, or held strong and chose right.  But there are times that is all we get out of it.  And it should be enough.

So this has really laid a foundation, for no expectations, in exchange for good choices.

 

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-6

I keep all of the gems, in this box, on the tower of my computer.  I had bought net sacks filled with gems, in similar colored sets that match our color-coded kids, at Michael’s Arts & Crafts.   More often than not, they have no idea why I am calling them to me, when I do.  They weren’t even aware I could hear what was going on, or saw what they did. But boy are they pleased when they realize why I did call them!  Their face lights up, from an expression of wonderment, as they come to me.  I have no set number of gems they get, for any given wonderful choice.  Sometimes, it’s just 1, sometimes it’s 2. Sometimes I tell them it is double the number I was going to give, for one reason or another. (And I’ll tell them why.)  But there is no denying how pleased they are, no matter how many they get.  They always seem perfectly happy with what they got, even when it is just 1! In putting these gems in their hand, I tell them why they should feel good about their choice, why I appreciate what they did, why I am sure God is pleased with them too, and I thank them and we have big hugs.(I’m big on communication with my kids. We talk a lot!)

 

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-7 They take their gems into the kitchen, and put them in their jar.   And in all honesty, it’s just getting gems, that helps them feel so appreciated.  You can see it on their face, and in their body language. Because they know they chose good, and that someone noticed, and appreciated that.  Don’t we all just love to know that, sometimes? It re-enforces all things good, without expecting a pay-off.

Now I’ll be the first to tell you, I am not always paying attention.  Weeks can go by, without anyone getting a single gem. Simply because I have a lot on my mind, or things have been crazy.  Good choices are expected regardless, although they aren’t always what is chosen. I’ll be getting to that shortly too. ; )  But there is rarely any mention about the gems.

 

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-8 Meanwhile, they sure look pretty, sitting there in the kitchen, don’t they?

Eventually, someone’s jar does fill up to the ribbon, and we do mark it with a special occasion.  Now don’t judge the children based on their gem levels, in the photo above, because they have all been emptied and re-started at different times.  There is no comparing at this point, but filling that jar is a personal accomplishments that I do like to mark with a special time.   No matter how hard they work at being a good person and choosing right, it’s a feat to fill a jar like that with little gems! It takes quite awhile.  Even for our most helpful ones.  So when the jar is filled up, I’ll give them a choice. We’ll give them a little money, to go shopping with me or Daddy where they can buy something for themselves they specially wanted, OR, they can go to breakfast or lunch with one of us.

Either way, it’s called a Gem Date. It’s special one-on-one time between us, and it always feels as special as it is.   I be sure to take time with each one of my kids every day, to talk with them and connect 1-on-1 with them.  With schooling them myself, I have lots of opportunities all day to do that. But there is always something a little extra-special-feeling about a Gem Date, for both us as the parent, and the child.  They almost feel magical, like all of those little appreciations came together and exploded.

Gems are like magic stones, after a long and tiresome span of time of giving, and giving, with no expectations, when eventually, we can only hope to hear “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:21)

 

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-9 This guy has nothing to do with the topic of this post, but he sits on my microwave, and I love him, so I thought I would introduce you to him. Except…he doesn’t have a name. But doesn’t his mohawk rock?  He is very special to me.  Alexis made him when she was 8 years, in a pottery class she was taking.

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-10

If he doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.


3) The X’s.

 

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-11 If a parent truly loves their child, they must be sure they get consequences, for their poor choices.

And in our system, those are represented by red X’s.   They go under that child’s initial, on another (huge) marker board, that is behind my desk, in my office cubby. I use the top of the board to track the point of process I am at with various clients.  But the bottom of the board is free & convenient for this purpose.

If a child knowingly and purposely makes a really bad choice, they get an X.  Now for the sake of this photo, I’m going to tell you that I put these X’s on the board, although there didn’t happen to be any at the moment.  But I have no problem telling you…..there are days I really love my child! ; )   Generally speaking, things run pretty smoothly around here, with the flow of our routines.  But I can tell you, usually when we have a bad day, there is a whole string of them! Maybe one of the kids is out of sorts, and is spreading the non-cheer. Or maybe “I” am tired, or not feeling great, (or both!) and am just feeling extra-non-tolerant of any antics.  Either way, these things can effect the whole family, like falling dominoes, and it usually takes a few days to get back on track. On those days, my red marker may get handled more than usual. ; )

Like the gems, which just feel good to get, and that should be enough > the x’s do not feel good to get. Ask any one of my kids. They are not at peace, if they even have 1-single-X. You should see them peek through the cut-out in the wall, (where the stairs to the 2nd floor are), or come around to my desk, to check their status.  But the X in and of itself is not enough. They need to work them off/pay for them, in a personal way. (One moment again, please.)

Here is what those X’s mean:

They have no privileges at all, until every x is gone.

They need to work it off, in their own way.

Here is how they mightget X’s:  This can really vary, as the good choices can. But poor choices may have been acquired from breaking a family rule, such as not keeping our flailing appendages to ourselves in moments of anger or frustration, striking another.  It may be from talking back in a fresh tone, or starting trouble with another. It may be from breaking a safety rule, OR……being called more than once in a row, for obviously not keeping their chart updated.  (Which usually means they did the do their responsibilities, but did not check the chart. However, the chart is there as a system, to keep things in order and running smoothly for our family. And it’s a responsibility that they are responsible for!  So…neglecting their chart leads to an X.)

The bad feeling they have inside, is also a natural consequence that we all feel, when we knowingly make a wrong choice. It may also happen as a result of the wrong-doing, that others are not happy with us, or something else negative came about as a direct result of the original poor choice. That also happens in life.   But the wrong must be righted, to be truly gone. (It also happens to be much like confession, in our Catholic faith. I know you are not all Catholic, but I’m sharing why this supports what we believe further.)  And so the child needs to do what they know needs to be done, to get it erased. Rectifying the wrong first and foremost must always end with a sincere apology to the offended or hurt, and a clear spoken explanation to myself or their father as to what they know they did wrong, why it was wrong, and ‘what their plan is’ for next time a similar situation comes up. More real talking. But ridding the x usually starts with choosing rights, by their own free will.  I never tell them what they must do.  That is up to them. But whatever it is, it is for the good of others, or the family, or our household.  They may decide to be extra helpful with picking up or cleaning the house, or sacrifice for others all day. One good thing, does not equate erasing an X. It’s when I know they have sincerely made efforts at choosing rights, and have apologized and spoken to us (also of their own free will), and in the meantime, have had no privileges. We let them know when we’re removing the X.  I can tell you, it’s a fair and reasonable deal in terms of exchange.  It’s just not something they can expect in exchange for any one thing in particular.   What they do get when that X is removed, is another sense of self-accomplishment, and rejoicing of their heart.  (Much like our feeling of coming out of Penance. Which by the way, I would hope the actions that the x’s represented are spoken of also. But that is between them & their Savior.)

child-behavior-responsibilities-system-parenting-12 In ‘The Big Picture’ this system works well in our family.  It keeps the kiddos responsible for themselves, and generally in check. And between the ✔’s, Gems, and X’s, it really keeps our home fairly in order, and clean-ish!  (Although it’s rarely ever both enough, for me. I have high standards there I guess, that seem to be impossibly unattainable.  We live here, it looks it, and I’m working on embracing it.) The system we use also helps the kids relate the facts: that choosing wrong not only feels bad personally inside, knowing we let down ourselves, others, and God, but ultimately results in consequences that are not fun to face, come that time. Being responsible, and making wise choices, is a learning process, and we all make mistakes from time to time. But we also need to realize that we are all accountable for ourselves and our choices, more and more so, as we get older. We will be held accountable for them, good or bad. For us, this system we use runs many parallels with life.  Gems, the good and right feeling inside, simply by knowing we chose the right (if sometimes more difficult) path, are what we would all like to have. But they are not just given to us. We must live our lives accordingly, to be worthy, day by day. Our lives as adults DO reflect how we are doing, averaging our own virtual gems & x’s. We are captains of our own ship. But it’s the process of learning to be led by our hearts & our morals while we are young, and wanting to please God, our loved ones, and ourselves, that gives us the practice, and the strength, to navigate more toward the light.  In the end, there can be no greater Gem.

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*Thanks for reading, and letting us share a bit of the inner-workings of our family. We are certainly not parenting experts, but know many parents are often looking for new ideas, charts, or systems.  We wanted to offer any part of what works for us, to you, our readers & friends.  We hope you enjoyed the post, or have found something beneficial in it, for your family too.


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Filed Under: Faith, Faith/ Catholic, Life In General, Parenting, The Big Picture Tagged With: behavior system for kids, Catholic-blogs, Catholic-families, Parenting, parenting-help, responsibility charts, teaching-children-behavior-responsibility, triplets

Don’t Leave It On The Desk | A Worthy Read for All

May 15, 2011 By Laura 3 Comments

Don't Leave it on the Desk

I have an admittance to make.  I never read those FWDs (forwards), that show up in my e-mailbox. No matter who has sent it (and I get them from people I truly love), I just delete them, without even opening them first.  Because the thing is, there are just so many of them that come, and I know in the end…..some will be worth the read, and some won’t. But I won’t know which is which, until I’ve read each one, and that time I spent reading, is eaten! Wasted time and I, don’t see eye to eye. So I pass on the FWD’s, happily. There’s not enough time in my day, to take chances.

But I was tricked. A good friend of mine shared this one on Facebook, and somehow, I started reading it. I’m always interested in what she has to say. I realized it was getting long, and I needed to get ready for Mass, as it was Sunday morning, but I was already sucked in!  So I stuck it out, riveted to the monitor, as a few tears were shed into my coffee cup.  I loved it so much, that I decided to share it on our blog.  I hope you take the time to read it, too.

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Don’t Leave It On The Desk

A certain Professor of Religion named Dr. Christianson, a studious man, taught at a small college in the western United States.

Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course their freshman year, regardless of his or her major.

Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously.

This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman but was studying with the intent of going onto seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team and was the best student in the professor’s class.

One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him.

“How many push-ups can you do?”

Steve said, “I do about 200 every night.”

“200? That’s pretty good, Steve,” Dr. Christianson said. “Do you think you could do 300?”

Steve replied, “I don’t know…. I’ve never done 300 at a time”

“Do you think you could?” again asked Dr. Christianson.

“Well, I can try,” said Steve.

“Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind, and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it,” said the professor.

Steve said, “Well… I think I can…yeah, I can do it.”

Dr. Christianson said, “Good! I need you to do this on Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind.”

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren’t the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson’s class.

Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked, “Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?”

Cynthia said, “Yes.”

Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, “Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?”

“Sure!” Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia’s desk.

Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, “Joe, do you want a donut?”

Joe said, “Yes.” Dr. Christianson asked, “Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?”

Steve did ten push-ups; Joe got a donut. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut.

Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship.

When the professor asked, “Scott do you want a donut?”

Scott’s reply was, “Well, can I do my own push-ups?”

Dr. Christianson said, “No, Steve has to do them.”

Then Scott said, “Well, I don’t want one then.”

Dr… Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, “Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn’t want?”

With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups.

Scott said, “HEY! I said I didn’t want one!”

Dr. Christianson said, “Look! This is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don’t want it.” And he put a donut on Scott’s desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow.

Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry. Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, “Jenny, do you want a donut?”

Sternly, Jenny said, “No.”

Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, “Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn’t want?”

Steve did ten….Jenny got a donut.

By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say, “No!” and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks.

Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. A small pool of sweat began to form on the floor beneath his face; his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn’t bear to watch all of Steve’s work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was, so Robert counted the set and watched Steve closely.

Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Dr. Christianson, “Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?”

Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, “Well, they’re your push-ups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want.” And Dr. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, “NO! Don’t come in! Stay out!”

Jason didn’t know what was going on. Steve picked up his head and said, “No, let him come.”

Professor Christianson said, “You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push-ups for him?”

Steve said, “Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut.”

Dr. Christianson said, “Okay, Steve, I’ll let you get Jason’s out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?”

Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. “Yes,” he said, “give me a donut.”

“Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?”

Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve’s arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, “Linda, do you want a doughnut?”

Linda said, very sadly, “No, thank you.”

Professor Christianson quietly asked, “Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn’t want?”

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda.

Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. “Susan, do you want a donut?”

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. “Dr. Christianson, why can’t I help him?”

Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, “No, Steve has to do it alone; I have given him this task, and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not.. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book. Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push-ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes.”

“Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?”

As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, “And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, ‘Into thy hands I commend my spirit.’ With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten.”

Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.

“Well done, good and faithful servant,” said the professor, adding, “Not all sermons are preached in words.”

Turning to his class, the professor said, “My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God spared not His Only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid.”

“Wouldn’t you be foolish and ungrateful to leave it lying on the desk?”


Share this with someone. It’s bound to touch their heart and demonstrate Salvation in a very special way.

 



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Filed Under: Faith, Faith/ Catholic, Into the Light; The Series, Life In General, The Big Picture Tagged With: Catholic-blogs, Catholic-families, Christianity, Dont-Leave-It-On-the-Desk

Personal Photos of Our Easter Day

May 4, 2011 By Laura 1 Comment

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Just sharing some personal photos of our kids with you, from our most

beautiful, joyful, memorable, perfect Easter Day.

  001

These lovely flowers were sent from a family friend.  She’s always so thoughtful on holidays.

The daisies are still very much alive, in a wine glass of water. Had to keep the polka dot ribbon too.

002
The Lord is Risen!!
This Calvary plant the kids made, is now out in my gardens.

 

easter-pails_003 We don’t do the E.B. (or S.C.), but I always love having surprises for the kids.  Especially because they ask for nothing, expect nothing, and do easily remain so focused on our faith. They couldn’t wait to go to Mass, and neither could I!  It had been an intense but beautiful Holy Week, but we were ready for the celebration!
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004 I’ll share my puzzle with you.  Unscramble it, if you can! ; )  lol

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006

007

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009

010

011

The greatest gifts of our earthly life. . . .

012

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triplets_013

A Package Deal kind of Blessing!

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014
I can’t tell you, how happy these piggy-braids made me.

{A} asked for me to do them, and she loved them too.

The shock of it all almost stopped my heart,

on Easter morning.  ; )

Our beautiful doll, is now way taller than me.

015

Our girls….

016

017

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Our boys….

018

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easter-apple-tini_19 I did not photograph our delicious Easter dinner.

But I did photograph my pretty Apple-Tini!

******

Hope your Easter Day was joyful too, and picture-perfect in every way!



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Filed Under: Celebrations, Faith, Faith/ Catholic, Holidays, The Big Picture Tagged With: Catholic-blogs, Catholic-families, Easter, Easter photos

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