This is the biggest furniture refinish I have done, yet. (Well, my husband did very kindly help me. I worked pretty hard on it too, though.)
But as big of a job as it was for my hands, it was a much bigger job, for my heart.
(‘Before’ thumbnail. The ‘After’ is a must see!)
This is my mother’s dresser. My mother passed away very suddenly, in 2005. Her passing hit me like a train, and threw me into a grieving like I had never known. In the state of fog & hurt I lived in, one month after another, the only other thing I was aware of at all, was the depth of grief my father was in. It was hard to watch him go through all he was. I honestly don’t know which hurt more.
This dresser was the only one my mother ever had, in all of my years growing up, since the day I was born. Except for a few sets of sheets, the drawers of it have been empty for the past several years, since my sister and I cleaned out my mother’s clothing together. But the rest of the house my father has kept exactly, as my mother had it. People say things to him about that, but he can’t understand why anyone thinks he would change anything.
My youngest daughter had moved out of the bedroom she had shared with her triplet brothers, and into her very own room. I gave her my old white iron twin daybed, from my adolescent years, but she still needed a bureau of some kind. One night, as I lay in bed, unable to sleep, I got to thinking about what kind of dresser would go best in her room, and when I came up with a long dresser with a mirror, I immediately got thinking about my mother’s.
My intention right along, had been to find an antique or used dresser somewhere in my hunting, and refinish it. We don’t buy much of anything new. But when I remembered my mother’s, I knew I had more thinking to do. You see, I knew my father wasn’t going to use it again. He has the tall dresser, that goes with this one. When he sells the house, I knew he would either sell the dresser in an estate sale, or sell it with the house. But one way or another, he wouldn’t be taking it with him, because he didn’t need it.
My issue was, the dark finish and style of the dresser, didn’t go with {O}’s room at all, or our home’s farmhouse style in general. But, when it comes to sentimental matters, I am also the type, that doesn’t like things to change. I want everything to stay the same – which is why I take such comfort in going to my parent’s home, where my father is, and everything is just as my mother left it. My mother would be there too, if I had any say in that.
So the idea of refinishing this dresser, of my mother’s, was hard to think about. Just the vision of it, just as it is, with every detail, brings back memories. It’s such a part of my history, and my parent’s. But it was either take it and refinish it, or let the whole thing go to some stranger, who never even knew my mother. I decided changing it was a easier to handle, than letting it go altogether.
I talked to Michael about it the next morning, and called my father that afternoon, to ask him about it. I was tentative, to tell him about the refinishing part. (Yikes!) He did pause for a second of silence, when I got to that part of my plan. But I wasn’t sure in the moment, if it bothered him because it was my mother’s, or if he didn’t get why I would do that. I guessed it was the latter, knowing him pretty well, and a couple of questions later, I found I was right. I figured, even if he was OK with me refinishing it, he wouldn’t understand why I would bother. (Because he wouldn’t even think of it….because it works as is!) “Why would you do that?” “Because Dad, it doesn’t go with her room. At all.” I could hear him trying to wrap his brain around it. He’s just a simple guy, who is not at all about home decor, etc. If it works, it’s good! If it’s comfortable, it doesn’t matter what it looks like. But he was fine with whatever I wanted to do with the dresser. And he insisted on bringing it down to us, even though Michael had every intention of going out to western MA to get it.
I knew he would insist on driving it down, and as soon as possible. He always makes sure we understand, “Anything you guys ever need, just ask me. I mean it.” He means it. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for us. The dresser arrived in the back of his van, which arrived in our driveway, that weekend.
It was a beautiful day, so we got right to sanding it down, before it even came into the house. I did need to take a deep breathe, and push my hesitancy away, before I let the sander hit the surface. But after I took some ‘before’ photos!
I could see the dresser, all refinished just as I wanted it, in my head. I went to Home Depot myself that week, and found what I was hoping I would, for the original hardware – which I definitely wanted to keep! It was the design of the hardware, that that really marked the dresser as my mother’s, and part of my parent’s set.
The spray paint I chose, was brushed nickel.
The tone was so beautiful.
The dresser itself, was a whole lot of work. A lot. Sanding, painting, steel wooling, and the high & smell of denatured alcohol, that was stuck in my head. It was a big piece to work on. So much to it. My hands took a beating.
But the labor of it all, was therapeutic in a way, too. It was a process I needed to go through. Accepting change, and looking it in the eye, whether it is easy, or welcome, or not. Knowing inside, that the only thing that is ever guaranteed to never change, is the memories born in the minutes and years that pass by.
Time marches on.
The dresser came out absolutely beautiful, I think. I totally love it, refinished. It now goes so perfectly, with the rest of {O}’s bedroom.
But it’s funny to me that, as completely different as it looks now, I somehow still see my mother’s dresser.
Every time I see the hardware, I am back in my parent’s bedroom(s), or I actually hear in my head, the clinking sound it makes, when the drawer is closed and the handle is let go. I heard it for 21 years, or something.
The dresser has new history now.
{O} now has her grandmother’s dresser, and she watched her parent’s refinish it with love, just for her.
I can’t tell you how many times, I used this big mirror myself, growing up in a house with 5 kids, and one bathroom.
I can even easily imagine the many things of my mother’s on the dresser top, that were there for so many years.
{O} is slowly covering it, with her own things, now.
She knows it’s her Meme’s dresser, and it makes her happy to have it in her room, and call it her own, now.
Things change. It’s a part of life.
And yet some matters of the heart, inside, never do.
No matter what it looks like, on the outside.
Sometimes, letting go, is all we can do.
While we hold on to whatever we can, as best we can.
I’m so happy I thought of getting my mother’s dresser, before it was too late.
I miss her so very much, and it was hers.
Nothing I do to it, can ever change that.
******
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Laura,
I know it’s been a bit since your loss, my heart goes out to you, been there. My mother’s bureau was so close to your mom’s, just in cherry. Sadly, I was not given the opportunity to inherent either my mom or dad’s items. I am very sure your mother would be very please with how it turned out.
One of my daughters and I are venturing out to refinish/repurpose furniture. I do have a strong knowledge of wookworking and refinishing (thanks to my dad).
Anyway, thanks so much for listening and please continue on your adventures!!
Laura – I just loved this story. I have a tall dresser just like this. Even the hardware is the same. I also want to do mine in white to match the furniture in our bedroom. Please share with me how you got the antique look. I just love it. I’m glad I found this site. I will be visiting it often. God Bless
Hello Dixie! Thank you so much for your kind comment. 🙂 Yes, the tall dresser that matched this one is still at my parent’s home. It’s my father’s dresser. So I know just the one you have!
I have a short memory but, as I recall…..we first sanded it and then wiped it down with a soft clothe. Then it got a coupe coats of white latex paint. From there, we gave it the distressed antique look with fine steel wool! I believe we started out using denatured alcohol with the steel wool, but decided it wasn’t worth the hassle, mess or smell….and the steel wool worked just fine alone.
I do hope that helps!! Best wishes with YOUR dresser!
Peace and God’s blessings –
Laura / House of Joyful Noise blog
This is amazing! I found this on Pinterest while looking for a way to refinish my mom’s (her mom’s before that!) secretary that sits in my garage. I lost my mom 9 years ago. The secretary was in a house fire 18 years ago. So many people have told me that I would “devalue” the piece by refinishing it, but I had decided I didn’t care anymore. I just want to enjoy the memories of my mother and this piece is so important to that. It warms my heart to see how beautiful this dresser turned out. I just know that my 3 girls are going to enjoy mom’s secretary for years to come when I am finished with the job! Thank you for being so courageous 🙂
And thank YOU Dana, for feeling encouraged and inspired by my story. I hope finishing your mother’s secretariat is as therapeutic for you as it was for me. If I may say so, I believe your refinishing this very meaningful family piece for you and your girls to treasure, ADDS value to it.
May God bless you all, and may your mother smile down on your heartfelt intentions.
-Laura / House Of Joyful Noise
Read this blog and I am literally brought to tears. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. I lost my mom unexpectedly 6-1/2 years ago and I felt much the same as you. It has hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been dealing with the grief for years and in such a different place now, but lately I am a bit of a mess again. I miss my mom, my friend…your story touched me, thank you for that. My mom also had a large dresser with a mirror and I am now thinking of calling my dad and doing what you have. thanks again.
Be blessed,
Sherry
Your heartfelt and personal comments means a lot to us, Sherry. Love and loss is universal, and creates great compassion for others. Hoping you do get your mother’s dresser, and it brings as much comfort to you. Blessings to you.
Laura / House Of Joyful Noise
Love how you refinished the dresser. I have a similar set that I want to paint white also. My set also has those pulls! What color paint did you use? Did you use a glaze? Thanks
Thank you, Cathy.
I am not sure of the brand of spray paint I used, but the finish was called Brushed Nickle!
No glaze on anything.
I found your site through Pinterest, and thus this post. I love what you did with your Mother’s dresser, and I love how you gave us personal heart felt glimpses into what refinishing this and being able to use in in your home means to you. Great post, and a beautiful project for the eyes and the heart.
Leah, your comment touches me. A lot of tears poured out as I spilled my heart in that post. It’s not easy for me to open up so much, as I did in that post – especially online. So I have appreciated yours and everyone’s comments, who have responded with such kind comments, stories of their own, and encouragement.
I would love it if you came around again sometime. Blessings to you.
~Laura / House Of Joyful Noise
This dresser turned out so beautiful and what a great piece of history for your daughter!
You do awesome work!
Thanks Lisa! We don’t have many pieces in our home that have family history, but the ones we do we really treasure.
Thanks for coming by. : )
Stunning & Beautiful results! Your hard work paid off!
Thanks so much Kim!
I feel like it did too.
Beautiful story, Laura. Beautiful dresser too. God bless you and your father. Grief is odd, awful and awesome in the power it holds. But I fully understand your father, keeping the house as it was. Since my husband passed on May 14, many don’t understand things I do, or don’t do. Like wearing his necklace and ring every.single.day. They think it makes it harder on me. Quite the opposite though. It brings me comfort, as I would guess your parents’ home brings to your father. Thank you for sharing your story.
Hi Colleen. I agree….grief is odd, and people handle it in so many different ways. I took every opportunity to mentally and emotionally prepare for losing my mother for years. I thought I had. But when it happened, I was nowhere near prepared.
I do understand, your wearing your husband’s necklace and ring every day. I think it would bring me comfort as well. I’m sorry for the loss of your husband, as well. As an artist too, I would guess that your art has helped you through your grief. I know I find it so therapeutic in many ways, and I pray it does the same for you.
Thank you for reading my story, and sharing some of yours as well.
Laura,
I loved your story. I have a similar story as well. My Mother was killed by a drunk driver nearly 7 years ago. My father also still has not moved a thing since she passed, however, he did let me have my Mom’s antique dresser and night stands. I just started working on it….its almost done. Yours is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing!
Amber
Oh Amber, that just breaks my heart. For all of you. I’m so sorry, for the sudden loss of your mother too. How tragic and unfair, to lose someone you love so much, that way.
I truly would love to see your Mom’s antique dresser and night stand when it’s done, if that’s possible. But if not, it’s still just nice to know you will likely get some comfort of having her furniture pieces, as I have. I pray they do. Thank you for coming by, and sharing your story. May God bring you and your family peace.
Laura, I’ve got tears in my eyes from reading your beautiful heartfelt post. You’re right – it IS a work of heart. My own mother is 81 and I can’t imagine my world without her, so I can somewhat relate to and imagine your depth of grief on her passing, and on keeping the memories, sights and sounds – like the sound a drawer makes when it closes – close in your heart. I love how the dresser turned out, especially because of the backstory. Hugs!
Hi Laura. How blessed you are, to still have your mother, at 81! That’s so wonderful.
Thank you for reading my story. I wanted to let you know too, that I saw the sweet comment you made on the Pin’terest Pin of this dresser too, and it touched me. So many people can relate in some way, and that in itself is comforting. Thanks for the Hugs!! : )
It looks beautiful! And what a beautiful way to honor your mom and give something special that belonged to her a brand new life. I’m sure she would be pleased to know that her granddaughter is now using it. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother, and I know this project must have been an emotional one for you. But you did a fantastic job!
Erin, I’m so happy with how it came out too. I think my mom would be happy her granddaughter has it too. It sure is a drastic change, and yet it still has such familiarity as my mother’s. I’m thankful it all came out as I envisioned. Thanks for taking the time to come by and read.
Oh Laura, it’s gorgeous. Who knew a post about refinishing a dresser would move me to tears. Your dad is so sweet and now you have a reminder of your mom in your home.
Thank you, Steph. It really was so therapeutic for me, and it means as much to me to have it, as I knew it would. Thanks for reading, and hearing my heart through it.
That is stunning! You did such a wonderful job. What a special piece, as beautiful as it is meaningful. xoxo,
Johnnie
Thanks so much, Johnnie. 🙂
Oh Laura, I just hopped over here after jotting you a little e-mail. I haven’t discovered your site before (It’s amazing!…I’m heading up to be your newest follower!). What a beautiful job you did on this dresser …and what a beautiful story it has. I’m so sorry about your mamma. I’m so glad you have this visual piece that brings to mind so many precious memories…
Ahhhh I have a similar dresser in my garage that I cannot bring myself to refinish…this may have been exactly the inspiration (push!) I needed! It is simply lovely! Kim
Beautiful work…the story of the dresser and the refinishing of it. It has been renewed for your daughter to love and enjoy and pass on to her children and let them know about the loving legacy of her grandmother. I, too, have items from both my mom and dad…books, sewing machine, even tools (which I truly cherish and love to touch and work with) and, to Elaine N.’s comment, my dad’s magnifying glass! What treasures we all have and can pass along to our children. God is good.
Oh-my…Goodness!! I LOVE this and don’t know how I missed seeing this post!! Great job and I love {O}’s room!!
LUV the story AND the refinish. Great before and afters. I know what you mean about a sound taking you back in memory and I legacy to your daughter is meaningful. God bless!
love it!
Love it! I have at my parents home some old furniture… u gave me a great idea..10x
I’m sure so many parts of this were difficult (the labor and the writing of this post). You managed to execute it beautifully. The dresser is beautiful too. I hope you smile every time you hear the *clink, clink* of the handles.
LOVE IT!! I want an one:-) Your mother would be proud!
A beautiful refinish job, but even more a beautiful story of love for your mother. I’m sure your mother would love that her granddaughter is enjoying it.
and i got so excited about the dresser that i didn’t even comment on your beautiful story. it is so great that you have this piece of family history in your home to htink about your mom every day…. and you will be able to tell your own daughter all about where the dresser came from and the wonderful woman who owned it.
i have got to be honest- this style is one of my least favorites to paint. but you made it absolutely stunning!!!!! i am sooo impressed!
Timeless Treasures….I love it….and I know she would, too. I remember that furniture of your mom’s! Didn’t she have matching bedside tables, too? Great job on refininshing and giving it new life. xo
Wow–what a transformation! It’s gorgeous. Much better than anything you could have bought at the store. And much more meaningful than if you had just bought another one and refinished it.
What a gift to your daughter. The gift of shared memories and a sense of how much her Meme loved her. Lovely redo Laura but the story behind the piece is what makes this so achingly beautiful. Now rest those hands for the next project! 🙂
I love your Dad for seeing the promise in this and not feeling the loss of it.
This post made me cry 🙁 Very sweetly written. My dad passed away 4 years ago. I can relate to the grief you felt, as well as watching my mom try to deal with losing him. I have my dad’s old coat rack. I have been debating on staining it a darker color, but felt a bit guilty. I guess the color doesn’t really matter, because when I look at it I will have the memories. Thank you 🙂
That is just so beautiful! You did an amazing job on it. Absolutely love it <3
Laura,
I too have refinished “family” furniture with similar sentiments… found that I was “working through” certain emotions as I experienced memories. What a beautiful gift you gave your daughter, and I’m referring to the gift of love that the dresser represents. Sounds like you are continuing your mother’s legacy of love.
What a beautiful story Laura! I totally understand the sentiments expressed. Seven years after my father’s passing I still miss him and there are certain items that I have of his that are very special to me although none of them are as big as a dresser! I have his magnifying glass that he used every day at work which stays in my desk drawer and I see it every time I take out my calculator (which reminds me of how many times he tried to help me with my multiplication facts that I was too stubborn to learn!) and the cream pitcher he used every day for his morning coffee which we used to share together frequently. I know that your daughter will treasure this dresser for so many reasons and I’m glad that you took the time to keep it in your home and make it your own. Its beautiful!
Beautiful. Just beautiful….your words, your hard work. Everything. What a wonderful treasure for all of you.